On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…the belief in a Higher Power and reliance on Them.
I mentioned the surrender to the Higher Power in the last blog, but we’re going to dig a little deeper this time and discuss more of the family dynamic as well. In the “12 Traditions” that go along with the 12 Steps mention God as the actual Higher Power, but, in my personal opinion (and experience), people are turned away by even the mention of a “Higher Power”, let alone God.
I don’t necessarily have the answer for this, but I imagine that people feel that they are being forced to believe in God or go to church. I was forced to go to a Pentecostal church as a small child and then again (one time) as a teen. I remember my sister telling me, “you can’t wear your jewelry or make-up to this kind of church”. My idea of compromise: Fuck that. Whenever I’ve brought in AA or NA people to talk to my mandated client groups (they were all mandated), they were either in the “until I” phase (another blog altogether) or immediately turned off by the idea of the “Higher Power”.
If you’re family is religious, DO NOT shove this down their throat. Do not mention God because you may/will turn them away from wanting to share this experience with you. They have to find their own Higher Power, not the idea of yours. Remember that, if you want to support this person and do this as a family activity to literally bring the family closer together, you can ask only one question about this: “Have you decided on what Higher Power you might like to rely on?” That’s it, then leave it alone.
If you’re serious about moving forward with the rest of the steps, you HAVE to put a lid on some things and not be pushy. Some of these steps can be truly traumatic and, if you want your loved ones to open up to you, you CANNOT judge, push beliefs, or use what you find out about others AGAINST them. If you exploit someone’s feelings or past actions, you’re just pushing them down in the mud. Be kind. Always.
All pics come from FreePik and title with Canva.
Please feel free to leave questions, comments, complaints, whatever, but I would love the feedback! I always appreciate the feedback from those in these situations!