“Happy Wife, Happy Life”, or so they say. I believe, “Happy Parents, Happy Life”. Your children will benefit from the two of you continually dating and maintaining common interests. You need intimacy in your relationship in more ways than one to keep your relationship (and possibly family) closer and less tense. Keeping the spark going in the relationship is as important as the future you have planned for yourselves. You don’t want to live as roommates, right?
Best resources for relationships: His Needs, Her Needs-Building an Affair-Proof Marriage, By Willard F. Harley, Jr. Ph. D. It was originally published in 1986 and has been “updated” since, but, I’ll admit that I’ve only read an older copy. From the beginning, it’s the most insulting anti-feminist piece of crap work, but, if you give it a chance, and push yourself to read on, it makes sense.
I did a paper for an undergrad psych (it was my minor) class, and everything I found basically backed up what he was saying in his book, but more archaic. See, what I found was that people really haven’t really evolved at all. Men and women look for clear eyes, straight, white, teeth. Men look for birthing hips and breasts that they could use for breast feeding. Women look for a man who has resources and makes good money. That’s what my research yielded anyhow, from what I remember.
The other book you have probably heard of, which is The Five Love Languages–By Gary Chapman, originally published in 1992. There are a million resources out there for this book, and they’re all worth it, because learning which language you require from your partner is helpful to your relationships. Men generally tend to favor “physical touch” as the primary language they want. Women tend to hope for “acts of service”.
Sooo, we all remember the old school adage “First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes the Baby in the Baby Carriage”, right? In a “traditional” nuclear family, this adage applies, however, not all families are like this any more. Here’s the thing, regardless of the type of family you have, blended, nuclear, LGBTQI, whatever type, you approach your children as a team and always united front (I’ll be writing another blog on that from the professional point of view). Anyhow, that’s not the issue here. To build a strong house, you must have a strong foundation. YOU are that foundation and the well-being of your marriage will determine the health and happiness in your home.
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