Traveling is not a luxury that I was afforded as a young adult, but I wish I had pushed my partners to use the little money and time we had to go more places. Don’t get me wrong, my childhood had family vacations (sometimes even the occasional skip-out on school to go see relatives in Kentucky). I spent a lot of time on “mini-vacations” during college, but never could even afford to leave the state. (I got kicked out of the house at 19 and had to conquer a lot to keep myself in school so vacations took a back-burner.) I still get restless in the spring. When you’re Notamomma, it’s much easier to travel the open road…or world.
The importance of education cannot be understated. I went on to a Master’s level Program and graduated with honors, but that was because I knew in my very heart what I wanted to do for a living. Not everyone has the same path. Plenty of my clients made more money than I did. It was disheartening at times, but, for me, as long as the lights came on every month, I was good. It’s about finding your own niche in the world and, anyone who became a mother young will tell you, 1 of the 5 reasons to be Notamomma young, is that it makes it exponentially more difficult to explore your options, like trade school, taking some community college courses (they’re cheaper and usually transfer) if you’re not sure what to study, or even different life-shaping experiences and jobs to rule out.
Ah…”Adulting”. It should likely be #1 on the 5 reasons to be Notamomma…Yet.. See, when I was a kid, if you didn’t buy it ready-made, steal it from work, or buy it and cook it yourself, the only meal you got was school lunch. Give it to age 16 and I was paying the gas bill. So, for me, the concept that people don’t know how to manage their lives is frightening, but, you know what? It’s not all their fault. They had parents to teach them things. They had school to teach them things. But now, they have damn YouTube and parents to call when they can’t figure something out. People act like younger generations are helpless. If you can get a job, it’s only one step at a time from there.
This is where being a real “adult” comes into play. Picking a career is not a thing anymore. Shh…don’t tell colleges or your parents. Picking something that you can market to do over the next 7-10 years, now THAT is a thing. When I chose Social Work, part of the appeal was that, over the School of Psychology, it was a more marketable degree over time. There are SOOOO many types of jobs out there, some competitive, some high-pay, some for fun. The point is, it doesn’t matter what you do, just please don’t be miserable. Life’s too short, I promise.
5. Love and Marriage…
…And then comes the baby in the baby carriage? More couples now than any generation before are putting off those babies in the carriage and are travelling, the #1 of the 5 reasons to be Notamomma yet. Becoming Notamomma yet gives you time to really know if this relationship can stand some stress. Using those extra precious years before children gives you an idea of what kind of parent your partner will be and what your particular family values will look like because, for every home, they are different.