Not like the movie, please, purge the stuff that belonged to your significant other. Return it to them, unless the situation could become dangerous (no reason to leave adulthood at the door). I came out of an abusive marriage with some of his childhood photos and trinkets (for some reason), but I met up with him a couple of years later to return those things. Here’s why, I had a giant man to take with me as protection, I didn’t want to be that person who carried that anger around to burn his things, and, most importantly, I wanted to run into him for the first time after the marriage on my own terms. I didn’t want to see him somewhere, have a complete flashback (I have C-PTSD), and try to run away, feeling like I was being choked to death. I wanted to own those feelings.
2. Rearrange.
Rearrange your life, your home, your schedule. Change things up so you’re not a.) continuously reminded of that person and b.) it’s always great to have a fresh start. If the two of you spent most of your time in the bedroom (congratulations, by the way, if it was worth it), change up the decor or the furniture layout. And, most importantly, rearrange your time to include some old friends that you might not have seen in some time.
3. Start something new.
Take a cooking class, painting class, learn a new language, join a gym and get that revenge bod (that really drove me healthy after my divorce), or try some of these https://captivatingcrazy.com/how-to-be-happy/. Get out and meet new people, no, not dating, you’re not there yet, but meeting new people is fun. You could meet the new person in your life that you have the most in common with in the world. When I moved to a new town, I took a writing class, for fun, and, when this woman walked in, I knew that I had already known her and, now, she’s my best friend in the universe!
4. Rejuvenate yourself.
Don’t think a new haircut or color will change things. New clothes, a new look, a new anything is not necessary. There is not a damn thing wrong with you. Feel free to make those changes, but only if YOU want. Learn to be alone and be comfortable with it. Learn more about yourself and what you like. Read books, take baths, journal, walk, run, learn to vent in positive ways. Follow me on Pinterest for a ton of ways to cope in healthy ways. You’ll be a far better partner in the future.
5. Heal.
Alone. Don’t jump into a new relationship with a new person. If you were in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, double the time that you feel like you’re already healthy and healed. Trust me, you’re not there yet. Wait, it will be worth it. You’ll be a stronger person, be able to recognize the signs of another abusive relationship, break it off, handle possible rejections, and become a better partner in the future. I also recommend that, if it were an abusive relationship, talk to someone, sooner than later. I promise, I know what I’m talking about and the longer you put it off, the worse it will get.
