As this little gentleman will tell you, boundaries do not need to be permanent, there can be emergency exceptions. Calls in the middle of the night that are emergencies, but YOU have to decide what constitutes an emergency. Your child, for instance, is an emergency. If your bestie has constant drama, however, it’s OK to block it out after 9pm.
It is PERFECTLY OK to care for yourself. When you listen to the flight attendant, does she say, “Be sure to put on everyone else’s masks are on safely before you put on your own”? No. That would make no sense. Everyone would die. But you can’t give or help or support when your battery is continually on low or dead. So you have to take CARE of yourself. Little things, I try to keep my nails done and hair dyed. I try to keep up on a hobby, like blogging or putting little gnomes in a garden. Find all of those tiny ways to give yourself a break, not once a month, not once a week, but literally once a day. Read a magazine. Watch your favorite show. Watch a few episodes of a new one you’ve been binge-watching. Run down the street naked. It doesn’t really matter, as long as it’s something for you. And self-care is the number one reason for learning How to Build Healthy Boundaries.
Those closest to you tend to take the most advantage of you because they know what they can get away with. “Bev, can you bring the snacks for soccer this week? Oh, I knew you would. Thanks, so much!”, “Hey, sis, you’re grabbing the cake for the birthday party this afternoon, right? Thanks!” The “thanks” actually means: I knew you would do it anyway, I was just telling and reminding you to. You’re not anyone’s errand girl (or boy).
If people at work know that they can take advantage of you, they will. Your manager, your co-workers, etc. Healthy Boundaries at work doesn’t just mean the PEOPLE you work with, but the job you do. Leave it at the door. It will be there tomorrow, haunting you 🙂
Shut it all off at least one hour before bed for good sleep hygiene and perhaps time for OTHER things… Turn on a boring show or turn off the TV in the bedroom and put on a show for your hubby. Me. Ow.
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