Relapse Prevention: People, Places, Things, and Situations

If you are someone with an addiction who has ever been in treatment, whether it be court-mandated, while incarcerated, or in rehab, you’ve heard the old “people, places, and things” business. I’m going to break it down in this blog post for two reasons, 1) to remind you of what you can do to keep clean and 2) to help any family members around you to understand what helps and what doesn’t. Let me make it clear before I dive in, that I very much stand by the science that addiction is an actual brain disease and, once someone is in recovery, it’s recovery for life. It has to be managed daily to prevent relapse prevention, like someone would manage diabetes.

Let me break something down very easily. COMPLETE sobriety is the way to go. Here’s why. Let’s say heroin is your poison. If you keep people around who smoke pot, they’re one or two phone calls or texts away from a needle relapse in your arm. Understood? You need to be aware of what might happen to you if you want to take that risk. The other piece of relapse is that people will actually relapse, use the same amount that they used before sobriety. This is when people die. If you do relapse, DO NOT use alone. I’m going to break these dangers for relapse down further. Now, we can dive into specifics. 

People

Here are the steps you need to take to rid yourself of people who might contribute to relapse. Once you relapse, that’s on you, but here are some steps to help that I used when I did therapy with clients who had addictions:

• Get a new phone number and ONLY program in who you need. Not your dealer. Not your old friends that you used with. ONLY people you need to be in contact with. 
• If you can’t get a new phone, delete all numbers that lead to drugs. Don’t keep your third cousin’s phone number because they’re “family”. You know your ass is just keeping him on the record because he can score. Don’t lie to yourself. Delete that shit. 
• If you can’t get a new phone, before you delete all of those numbers, block them. Don’t lie to yourself.
• Social Media: It’s best to delete all your accounts and take a breather away because it’s overwhelming to know who will be supportive and who is waiting in the wings to tempt you back into something else, especially if you’re new in recovery.
• If you choose to continue with social media, begin new accounts and add people that are supportive of your sobriety.
• When those people pop up as “someone you may know”, don’t “know” that person.
• Don’t make excuses to be around people that you know are going to cause you to be triggered by using themselves.
• Draw healthy boundaries with friends and family. You do not need other people’s drama. Handle your own shit first. If you don’t care for yourself, your family first, you’re putting your sobriety in jeopardy. 

Places

• Find a meeting. I don’t care if you buy into the “Higher Power” stuff or not, get to a meeting. Tip: I’ve had people who “should” be attending NA, say that AA meetings have been more welcoming, so shop around for a home group, so to speak. 
• You know that street, with the house where you used to go party? Don’t go down that street. Don’t pretend you have to. Avoid it.  
• That family reunion where everyone gets drunk? Probably not a good idea. Healthy boundaries, once again.
• You know certain bars, houses, etc, are trigger places for you. YOU have to be honest with YOURSELF. You can’t show up at your Aunt’s house, knowing that she uses or drinks, telling yourself that you’re “just visiting family”.
• Question your thoughts and then ask yourself if this is a good idea for recovery.

Things

• Something that I have not really touched on in my blog posts yet is that I am chronically ill, which means I have frequent blood draws, infusions, etc. If you’re someone who used needles in the past, and you have to have bloodwork (this WILL come up), you WILL be triggered by this. Have a plan. Focus on what the actual work is being done for, talk to the nurse drawing blood, stay in the present, be mindful of things in the room. 
• If alcohol is your thing (which, in my experience as a therapist, is one of the hardest to treat), let’s say you even just see an empty beer bottle while you’re out doing something else…it’s going to make you think…
• Discarded needles on the street (yep, plenty of places this happens)

Situations

Most people don’t include “Situations” when they talk about People, Places, and Things in recovery and sobriety situations. Here’s why I include it. If you’re in a vulnerable SITUATION (grief, just lost a job, break-up, etc.), and another SITUATION presents itself with drugs or alcohol (a PERSON, PLACE, or THING), this is the time when that plan comes into play for relapse prevention. Go to a meeting. Call your sponsor, accountability partner, safety person to help talk you down off of the ledge of relapse. 

Some place, you will inevitably run into someone selling something that you want and you will, at some point, have the money to buy it, you need a plan. The world won’t change to become drug and alcohol-free just because you’re sober. Get real. Have a plan. Accept, Alter, Avoid. Try it and apply it.