Relapse Prevention Triple A: Alter, Avoid, Accept
When you’re in recovery, the world doesn’t become a drug and alcohol-free place. So…get a plan in place. Meetings, accountability partners, sober friends and family that can assist you in relapse prevention steps. But, once you’re truly committed to being sober, it’s not easy and it’s a lifelong disease that needs to be managed like diabetes so sit your ass down, follow me on social media and I’ll give you some non-AA/NA information that will help you (I would recommend that you find home meetings to go to where you can go to empathize with others and get support).
It’s been my experience that heroin and alcohol are the most difficult to treat. I’ve worked in a methadone clinic as a counselor/pee collector/putting out fires before I got my Master’s Degree in Social Work and became a Therapist and took over a substance abuse/addiction program. When I took it over, it was based in the 12 steps. It was a court-mandated program and 12-Step Programs are for people a) admit they have a problem and b) want to get help. Court-mandated clients rarely believe they have a problem upon entering treatment.
The point is, I know what I’m talking about and not just spouting other things I’ve read. So, when I say heroin and alcohol are the most difficult to treat, believe me. And, believe me when I say that, if Opiates ARE your poison, Methadone and/or Suboxone are another addiction to pick up that are just a legal replacement. They’re also expensive and an easy way to convince yourself that you’re addiction is “cured” because you’re on something legal, you’re sorely mistaken my friend, you just have a new problem.
Alter
There are three basic ways to cope with stressors in life: One thing to try is to alter the situation so that it’s not a trigger for you. Examples:
- You can alter a situation by either removing yourself or others from it. If you’re at a family reunion, for instance, just chilling with family and having a good time, and your Aunt shows up with a cooler full of beer, you can alter the situation by removing yourself. It will be tempting to stay, but I don’t care. Even when you’ve been sober for a decade, there are times where, rather than “one day at a time”, you’ll be living minute to minute until that craving passes.
- You’re getting married and everyone wants alcohol at the wedding. Even if you weren’t an “alcoholic”, using any substance jeopardizes your sobriety as a whole so you have the power, in this case, to refuse to allow alcohol anywhere at your wedding, make it a cash bar so people won’t get as completely wasted as they would with an open bar (although, we did that at my wedding with my ex and his rich Uncle basically paid for everyone to get falling down drunk. It was a mess). The point is that this is an example of your ability to alter a situation. You have some power in your recovery, even though the world is not in recovery with you.
Accept
- Another example is when you’re out with your friends at a restaurant and they all order cocktails and beer. Don’t. You get to order Pepsi or, better yet, water. Remember, the world doesn’t become drug and alcohol-free just because you need to stay sober. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
- When you are sober at first, you will have difficulties and sensitivities to other people drinking, using prescriptions, possibly even taking Tylenol. These are things that you will have to accept by using different coping skills that you have learned: grounding techniques in mindfulness, going to a meeting, calling a friend, etc. You should have plans mapped out before you are out of jail, rehab, or even deciding to quit on your own. Temptations will be high.
Avoid
- This one is covered by People, Places, and Things that are triggers for relapse. I also add SITUATIONS. Here’s an example of why:
- You’re someone who’s a former needle user, doesn’t matter the drug in this instance. You just went through a heart-wrenching break-up and you’re just at a really low point in your life. You go to the Dr for what you think is the flu, but the Dr wants to run some additional testing. The additional testing involves a blood draw, which is, of course, a trigger. This is a high-risk SITUATION because a) you’re already in a vulnerable due to the break-up and b) you weren’t at all prepared for being exposed to a needle. Situation, there you go, but, hey, shit happens.
- Let’s breakdown People, Places, and Things to avoid in order to prevent relapse.
- People: Dealers, friends that you used to use with, even family that you know sometimes uses, possible. Other people to consider are the people who are exes, people who are toxic to you. Here’s a link about healthy boundaries. Also, people that smoke pot. I’m going to make this disclaimer as I always will, try to steer clear. Here’s why: anyone who smokes pot (especially illegally) is a phone call or two away from the hard stuff.
- Places: Houses where you used to buy and/or party, houses of exes (or other trigger people), bars, clubs, liquor stores, neighborhoods, you KNOW this stuff. I don’t have to tell you. This is where that whole “alcohol addiction being one of the hardest things to treat” thing that I mentioned comes in. Your friends might not give pause to going to a bar for a get-together or a club. You pass bars, liquor stores practically every other block. If you’re downtown in a city, clubs and bars everywhere, but, again, the whole won’t change for YOUR sobriety.
- Things: Half-empty beer cans that your friend left sitting next to you at a party, that needle for the blood draw (remember?), but this time I’m talking about voluntarily doing things like selling blood or plasma to make money. On a final note, staying clean isn’t possible if you keep a “back-up in case of emergency” case of beer hidden in your closet. (Yes, I had a friend do that…I’ve got a “colorful” background.)
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Please leave your comments about what has helped you in your relapse prevention plan, what has worked for your family members or if something is NOT working.