The 12 Steps of Christmas (Step 12)

…on the the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…having a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, trying to carry this message to all alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all their affairs…

“Spiritual awakening” doesn’t mean that God is talking to you, specifically, however, it does give you the time to reflect on how God, or your Higher Power, has helped you through this journey thus far. If you have done this alll by yourself, you’re kidding me and everyone that you interact with in this program.

BUT, I cannot part ways with you without giving you some advice of my own, as a Therapist, because, if you’re ready to take on becoming a sponsor, then you’re ready for more than just “take what you need and leave the rest”, “call your sponsor”,”30 meetings in 30 days”, etc. 

Here are some of the quick breakdowns of tips I give out it group therapy below. People, Places, and Things as Triggers are obvious parts of these as well. If I remember right, these are already parts covered in AA (the basis I am using). If you family members are still with us on this journey, congratulations(!) and I still continue to encourage you attend Al-Anon meetings and AA meetings will continue for those completing this part of the journey as well. Anyhow, below a few tips and tricks to use in the moment and to assist people getting through the day, down to the hour, minute, and second, sometimes it’s hard to get past those triggers:

• Alter, Accept, Avoid: 
  • Alter the situation. Toasting with your own type of drink, with the kid’s table, a sober buddy, etc. 
  • Accept the situation as is. Accept that, at dinner with friends, they are all going to order alcohol, except for you. Accept that, at your family reunion, there will be alcohol and, possibly drugs. 
  • Avoid the situation altogether. You can’t avoid the world altogether, all of the time, but if you know that you are feeling vulnerable, you can avoid certain situations, like the ones listed above. 
• HALT-B: Never keep yourself,
  • Hungry, both literally and metaphorically. If you want something, go for it. 
  • Angry (or Hangry). Sitting around stewing about something can piss you off even more. (I’m a stewer, I get more angry with time.) Find something else to do or try to resolve the issue as soon as possible. Try.
  • Lonely. This one is difficult. There is no cure for loneliness. Your Higher Power could come in very handy at this time. I often feel lonely no matter where I go or who I’m around, but, with God, it’s not so bad. I also recommend an outlet like journaling or something physical like yoga. A journal doesn’t roll it’s eyes when you bitch about the same thing over and over again. A friend or family member that you have something in common with that doesn’t involve using that you could call…there’s always your sponsor. 
  • Tired. If you’re restless, you might want to use just to zonk yourself out, especially in the beginning of your sobriety. You will have many a sleepless night. I don’t recommend starting on the 
  • Bored. Most therapists don’t include this as one when they’re talking about these issues, but it’s been one of the most popular named triggers by my actual clients so I always include it. When you stop using, you’re going to have a lot more time on your hands. Time that you always spent trying to find money, to find what you want to use, etc. Get a job, a hobby, spend time with your family, volunteer. Don’t leave yourself a bunch of downtime.

I have a direct email notamomma13@gmail.com and always have more to offer at www.notamomma.com so please leave your questions, comments, complaints, and experiences. 

A pics come from Adobe Stock and FreePik. Title pic designed using Canva.