…on the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others…(this song just keeps getting easier to sing, right?)
Step 9 very much builds on Step 8. In Step 8, “The Big Book” talks about 3 pieces to the puzzle (this is a word for word quote so don’t blame me for the horrific grammar):
First we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done; and, third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know.
Breaking this quote down, the first part should have been covered by Step 4 and then, of course, Step 8 (this worksheet is for both Steps 8 and 9) before putting Step 9 into motion. I want to explore this Step by using some examples of how to make amends and some you’re going to need to consult your sponsor and possibly your particular group to get a feel for whether or not apologizing would cause more harm than good. If you’ve looked back and you’re ready to look forward, let’s walk these therapeutic steps through (you’re not going to find this in “The Big Book”):
Step 9 is much to ask of us as meager and afraid human beings, but remember that we are nothing until we make ourselves something. This Step helps us move forward and avoid behavior that caused us to have to do this in the first place. It truly reinforces our mistakes from the past, how we want to live now, and who we want to become. Keeping moving forward.
All pics come from Adobe and FreePik. Title pic designed by Canva.