The 5 Stages of Grief (And What No One Tells You)-Part 2
In my last blog post, I covered both the Kubler Ross stages of Grief and the newer model of 7 Stages of Grief. Now, let’s get real about how grief can be so different in different situations. Grief can be more than an experience, it can be a trauma, and should be treated as such when needed. When I lost my friend to suicide in high school, it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. As you grow, somehow, you get stronger, but the pain of things will get stronger too. When I lost my Dad, I used his insurance money to buy myself a trailer. I spent a lot of time chain-smoking and staring at a TV that wasn’t on. I was all alone, but quitting wasn’t an option. It never is.
That’s the thing, no matter how big the hurt, work allots so many days to grieve, the world continues to move as if nothing has happened and you just want to stop and scream at the top of your lungs, “What’s wrong with you people?!”. They don’t know. It’s not their fault, but it’s part of the anger at ourselves, the world, God, and the person who left you. When my Dad died, I felt like a 20 yr old orphan, if their could be such a thing with another parent still living. My mom wasn’t great at the Mom part. I’m her least favorite and she makes no secret about it. the summer before I lost my Dad, I got kicked out of the house, couch-surfed, ended up with a boyfriend and an insta-family, but I will forever be in his debt. That’s a different blog post entirely.
Grief and loss come in all forms, divorce, home foreclosure, losing a job, losing a family member, but nothing quite like losing a child. I’m not a momma, obviously, but the wail of a mother whose lost her child to an untimely death, from drugs, will forever ring in my ears. It’s the most gut-wrenching sound you could ever imagine. That’s also another blog post for another time. The point is, if you’re prepared for grief during some other times, like divorce, you will know what else is coming and how to better handle it. I’ve been homeless, I’ve been divorced, and, I can tell you, this pic really shows it all. I give a great big thanks to MuellerConnect.com for publishing this pic about the myths and realities of grief and loss online https://muellerconnect.com/2018/10/myths-and-realities-of-grief
I also extend a big thanks to you for reading! I hope this helps you in your journey and please feel free to share your struggles and your stories here in the comments.Most importantly, you are not alone. Thanks again!
[…] dumpee, you’ll need to take time to grieve your relationship (See my parts 1 & 2 on grief https://www.notamomma.com/the-5-stages-of-grief-and-what-no-one-tells-you-part-2/ and https://www.notamomma.com/the-5-stages-of-grief-and-what-no-one-else-tells-you/). […]